WHEN YOUR LOVING SISSY GETS MARRIED – MYTH VS. FACT

Written By: Niharika Kohli, Blogger

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Is your elder sissy getting married? Congratulations!! You’ve finally succeeded in convincing your Papa to throw her out of the Home-Sweet-Home. We are sure that you must be too excited to play the Dholki on her wedding & we also know that you just can’t wait enough now to be the SOLE PROPRIETOR of the bedroom, Nutella, clothes, shoes, TV, laptop and what not? But let us tell you the real story – the truth – yes, my child – THE TRUTH of how sad life can be when your not so pyari Behna gets married.

  1. Myth – Happiness is the feeling of Shaant Zindagi

And finally the one who used to tease you all the time by saying shit like – “we brought you from Mandir ki Seedior someGanda Naala is going away. Woohoo!! There will be no one around to mess with you & put all that shit in your mind.

Fact – The reality is that when she is gone your life will become like a lonely little planet. You’ll gladly accept the so-called title – THE ADOPTED CHILD if she agrees to stay home a little longer.

  1. Myth – Happiness is having your OWN bedroom

Day-by-day, little-by-little everybody in the house will start noticing of how you are shifting or well!! – throwing your sister’s stuff to other rooms & that’s because you just can’t wait any longer to see how your “OWN” room will look like.

Fact – Not just your life but also your room becomes a lonely little planet. There will be nobody to turn the alarm & the lights off – Nobody to walk to the switch to turn on the Good Knight Activ Plus – Nobody to clean the shit you make in the room. You’ll not just become the “Only Owner of the Room” but also the “Only servant of the Room” – sad but true.

  1. Myth – Happiness is to have the last portion of “PIZZA”

Oh well!! Sharing is caring but we never want that rule to apply when it comes to food. We all wish to choose food over people but yes we all have to share the food because of our sanskar. Ah!! The dard we all feel…!! Sigh!!

But hey after your sister is gone – only & only your favourite dishes will be cooked -you can eat & poop all the time “ALONE” & “WITHOUT SHARING”. Yayy!

Fact – There will be no fun to have the last piece of pizza without a battle – its not your victory – you’ll feel like a beggar who has been given the last piece of the food & now what about the food ingredients you don’t like? – In whose plate will you throw all the tomatoes & the capsicums? Think dude, think!!

  1. Myth – Happiness is to have sexy clothes & shoes

And you are happy that you’ll no longer have to be an angry bird because your sissy used to take all your clothes & make up & shoes & not just “take them” but also “lose them”!!

Fact – You’ll finally “realise” or “accept” the fact that it was not just she who used to borrow your stuff – it was more often – YOU who used to do it & now that she is gone your wardrobe has just turned HALF – less shoes – less make up – less clothes because shopping is no more fun & you’ll suddenly start crying while remembering the day when you both chipped in all your pocket money to buy the Louis Vuitton bag. Oh hey wait!! Who’s gonna keep that one?

  1. Myth – Happiness is to have no boundations

You may used to find it quite annoying when suddenly your sissy used to turn into a Daadi Amma with her Book of Gyaan. – I no like your Boyfriend – I no like your attitude – I no like your habits – Don’t talk to this guy – Come back home on time – & the never ending blablablabla….

Fact – You’ll OBVIOUSLY realise now that all she said and all she did for you was right. You are seriously a piece of shit & your sissy really tried her best to save & protect you. She really tried to show you the proper way to LIVE LIFE & not just be a COW. But you didn’t listen. You are a COW now.

Conclusion: Well, sooner or later we all agree that having a sister is truly a blessing. Even when you didn’t step into this world, your sister must have prayed a thousand times to God to give her a sister with whom she can play with, have fun with!! & how happy she must be to see how her wish got fulfilled. But now you – the little cow – you now realise that a girl without a sister is a bird without wings. But it’s never too late – Let your Angel know how much you love her!!!

-THE END-

Image Courtesy: Plush Affairs, Bhopal

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